Slow Motion
by Druna Malgood
Summary: When things change, people change. Valkyrie and Skulduggery see this happening on a daily basis but they really didn't expect to see a  change in a certain annoying, blonde friend of theirs. Fletcherie, Ghastith and a little Valduggery.
1. Prologue

**Slow Motion**

**Disclaimer****: I do not own anything from the books Skulduggery Pleasant, the amazing Derek Landy does. Fletcher may be Flaring, Shakra and my bitch but I still don't own him. I only own the plot.**

**A/N****: This is a Fletcherie fanfic (Fletcher/Valkyrie) with hints of Valduggery (Valkyrie/Skulduggery) and Ghastith (Ghastly/Tanith). Skulduggery never was trapped in the portal but all other events occurred from the last book. This isn't a nonsense story but it will be humorous in places, so it isn't totally serious. The prologue is somewhat gruesome so beware but enjoy**!

**Summary Recap****: **_When things change, people change. Valkyrie and Skulduggery see this happening on a daily basis but they really didn't expect to see a certain blonde, hair obsessed, annoying boy change Fletcherie, Valduggery and Ghastith. R&R! Rated T for paranoia. _

**______**

**Prologue**

"_Mystery is at the heart of creativity. That, and __**surprise**__.__"_

-Julia Cameron

The early morning breeze ran through the streets of Dublin, just as the rain had a few hours previous. There were puddles on the pavements and the grass glistened under the dull, cloudy sky.

As soon as Valkyrie Cain's foot fell into one of these puddles, she cursed loudly-very loudly. Her voice echoed around the empty street her and her companion were travelling through.

The water ran into the old boots she was wearing, having misplaced the ones Ghastly Bespoke had made for her. "Skulduggery…" she whined, jogging to catch up with the well-disguised Skeleton in the pinstriped suit who had strutted ahead without her.

"Yes, Valkyrie?" he asked innocently, amusement apparent in his voice. Of course, he had seen her. She pulled her coat around herself tighter, glaring at him.

She sulked quietly for a few moments before speaking again, "This is your fault, dragging me out my warm bed at 4 am on a Saturday morning! On my day off and all! You know what, I think it was you who hid my boots, just so you could make my feet cold." she hissed at him, frowning.

"Oh yes, the best detective around hid your boots just to make your feet cold." he chuckled to himself. "And as detectives we have no days off. You should know that by now. We have to get this case investigated before someone else does. Also, my dear Valkyrie?"

"What?" she grumbled in response, pouting absentmindedly. What he said was right of course, she was just grumpy.

"Your boots are at Gordon's house. You left them there last week. Now shush child, we're here." Skulduggery spoke quickly and quietly as he paused in front of a normal, four roomed terrace house. He pushed open the creaky gate and walked up the path to where the door was. It hung half-off its hinges.

"I'm 15 years old, I'm not a child. " Valkyrie murmured and quickly followed him, glancing up at the top of the house. The curtains were pulled, spots of green mould grew on the stone of the walls and the slates on the roof looked ready to drop.

As soon as she hopped smoothly over the broken down door, Val was startled at the sight of the house. She glanced around at the wreckage, taking in the smashed furniture and ornaments.

She stepped into the living room, the scent of dried blood hitting her full on. She had been trained to not look at the body and slip through a room silently but Val couldn't help herself. She allowed herself one glance at the dead corpse and she couldn't help but gasp.

A blonde, middle-aged woman in her nightgown was kneeling by a glass coffee table, her head smashed against the surface. Her head lay in a pool of her own blood and there was a short dagger dug into the small of her back, just like the teleporter, Cameron Light.

The woman looked as if she had just fallen forward from sitting on the sofa and the television was even on, flickering through an advert about laptops and Barbie. Val had no clue of the connection between the two, but she wasn't here to investigate adverts.

"This crime has been committed in a very messy manner but it has definitely been committed by a sorcerer. They didn't do a very good job of cleaning up after themselves; apparently their mothers didn't teach them manners well enough." Skulduggery said from the corner of the room, observing the crime scene.

Valkyrie nodded, tearing her eyes away from the dead woman so she could look at her mentor. "She was only a mortal though. Why are the Headquarters outraged over her? I mean, what did she have to do with our world?" She asked, mentally cursing herself for sounding so inhumane.

"Good question. Apparently, the woman was related to someone important but my source hasn't been able to find out whom." The Skeleton replied, pacing around the room as he examined things here and there.

"Are you ever going to tell me who your source is?" The teenage girl asked, grinning suddenly. He turned his skull towards her, raising a hand to tap his nose bone.

"A magician never reveals his secrets." he said simply and she couldn't help but roll her eyes. It was so…Skulduggery. He was always being aloof and mysterious, although Val was pretty certain those two words meant the same thing.

A pregnant silence settled in the eerie room, the two alive beings moving silently around the room, dodging each other and the corpse.

"Valkyrie, would you come over here for a moment?" Skulduggery asked, in a deadly serious voice. The girl herself set down a rack of dusty CDS and sauntered over to where the Skeleton stood, holding a silver photo frame in one of his gloved hands.

"You better not be asking me to pull your finger again." She commented, coming to stand beside him. She peered at him when he did answer her.

"Look." he spoke after a while, his voice devoid of emotion as he held out the picture frame towards her. Val took it and studied it for a moment or two, her brain taking a while to catch up with her.

"Oh my Tré…" She gasped as she saw the two people in the picture. It was of the woman and a boy, a teenage boy. A teenage boy she certainly recognised. "This is of-" she trailed off, to gaze up at Skulduggery. They answered at the same time,

"Fletcher."

**_____**

**And there we go! A mini-cliff hanger there for you! Excitement ;)**

**I'll write chapter one faster if you review, even if you don't like it! XD Cookies anyone? *Shifty eyes***

**-Druna Malgood. **


	2. Chapter 1 Secrets

**Slow Motion**

**Disclaimer****: I do not own anything from the books Skulduggery Pleasant, the amazing Derek Landy does. Fletcher may be Flaring, Shakra and my bitch but I still do not own him. I only own the plot.**

**A/N****: Thanks so much for the reviews! I feel special ;) And yes, I do know that I despise Valduggery but I just felt obliged to add it and then I could still put in HUGE amounts of Fletcherie! He He…Don't hate me! XD Sorry for not updating sooner, I have any excuses. Mostly to do with hospitals…**

**Also, I know Fletcher's mother was already dead before but I made her alive again and then I killed. Not me personally but…**

**Summary Recap****: **_When things change, people change. Valkyrie and Skulduggery see this happening on a daily basis but they really didn't expect to see a certain blonde, hair obsessed, annoying boy change Fletcherie, Valduggery and Ghastith. R&R! Rated T for paranoia. _

**______**

**Chapter One-Secrets**

"_We dance round in a ring and suppose, while the __**secret**__ sits in the middle and knows__" _

-Robert Frost

The curtains twitched from inside Gordon Edgley's house and a blonde head appeared, just as the Bentley pulled up in the driveway. Valkyrie immediately jumped out and leant against the closed door, taking in the house that would soon _legally_ be hers.

"Hey Val! Whatcha doing?" Fletcher suddenly appeared in front of the girl, nearly causing her to have a heart attack on the spot. She would have killed him if it weren't for what had happened a couple of days previous, even though Fletcher had still no idea about the murder. It was to be kept that way.

"For Tré's sake!" Val squealed at him, flicking back her head in annoyance. She glanced behind her. "You are such a moron! Skulduggery, back me up here. He tried to kill me!" She called to the Skeleton on the other side of the car, crossing her arms over her chest in a sulky manner.

"Fletcher, my friend, you are a moron." Skulduggery responded curtly and turned on his heel, walking to the door of the house that Fletcher was currently lodging in.

She grinned at his back and turned her head to see Fletcher's outraged expression.

"You told on me! You told the skeleton on me! All I came out here to do was wish you a happy birthday and all, but oh no! You have to go and tell the skeleton that I tried to kill you…Which I didn't. Why would I kill you?" he ranted, waving his hands in the air with a frown on his face as he followed suit. A pinstriped suit.

Val jogged to catch up him. "My birthday is in three days, Fletcher." she corrected, glaring daggers at him.

"Oh…Really? Are you sure? Well, um, look! It's a bird!" he yelled randomly, pointing at a passing seagull as he inconspicuously tried to shove what looked like a package further down into his jean pocket.

"Hey, did that Seagull have a bottle of vodka tied to its leg?" Val asked after a moment of silence, taking the bait as she watched the bird fly out of sight. Fletcher watched her as if she was crazy and decided to push her into the house, despite her protests.

"It had a vodka bottle on it, I swear." She muttered, stubbornly as they stepped into the huge living room of where Skulduggery stood leaning on the fireplace and Tanith Low sat curled up in an armchair, reading intently.

"Hey Tanith. I didn't know you were here." Valkyrie said, coming to sit beside the blonde. She looked up from her book, startled and smiled at her younger friend.

"Yeah, Skulduggery texted me and I came as soon as I could. Turns out Fletcher had his mobile phone." Tanith glared pointedly at the smirking boy then back at Valkyrie. "It's good you guys are here though. Happy birthday Val!"

Before Valkyrie could respond and reveal her frustration for the too-soon birthday wishes, Skulduggery spoke interrupting her outburst.

"Renn, give me back my phone and _please _stop trying to have your wicked way with Tanith. Also, Valkyrie's birthday is in three days, end of." Skulduggery answered for her. "Now, please can we get down to business?"

Valkyrie shifted from where she sat, shooting Skulduggery a curious look. She wasn't aware that they had come here to talk about anything important and the only case they were on was about Fletcher's mother. They had no leads about who had killed her and they could definitely not discuss it in front of Fletcher.

"I'm going to be away for a while on Sanctuary business, now that Guild has allowed me back. Albeit, with supervision but back otherwise. I'll still be independently detectiving things and I will only be away for a little while." Skulduggery spoke importantly, looking to each person who looked back boredly.

"Hey, is detectiving actually a word?" Valkyrie piped up

"Valkyrie, you've known me for a while now. I tend to be great enough to make up my own words." He replied smoothly, a little miffed to be interrupted mid-speech.

"Okay, okay whatever you say."

"Anyway, I'll be back in time for your birthday and by that time….I hope that stupid little beard you have, Fletcher, will be long gone. You look like Remus Crux and it's fairly unsettling." Everyone turned to stare at Fletcher, quickly noting the group of light hairs on his chin to which they had previously missed.

Promptly, Valkyrie burst into crazy peals of laughter.

_______

Valkyrie stared silently at the blank television screen, wondering what she had done to deserve this. So far, 'Fletcher sitting' was not the best pastime in the world and she missed Skulduggery, despite him having been only gone for a couple of hours to an unknown location. She wasn't used to being away from him for long by choice and it made her feel sick. She really loved the damn skeleton.

She quickly shook away the daunting thoughts and concentrated on her current situation. Could someone die from hair related babbling?

"….And you see, you just can't put clumps of gel in and hope for the best. You have to put the appropriate amount and mould it in to get the best effect-"

"Hey remember that time when Paul the Drunk guy kissed you?" Valkyrie asked randomly, turning to the handsome boy beside her. He stopped talking and his eyes narrowed furiously when she brought up _that _certain subject.

"We promised never to speak of that, woman! He didn't kiss me! He _tried _to. It was a scary time for us all." He spoke so solemnly it made Valkyrie laugh again.

All previous anger that Fletcher had melted away quickly and he grinned at her, leaning a little forward towards her laughing form. "You were so jealous that day, weren't you?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

She sobered up immediately and stared at him as if he was an alien from Lidl or a talking pig juggling ten lemons with a cow head.

"Oh yes. Insanely jealous." Valkyrie replied, her voice laden with sarcasm. "I definitely wanted some crazy drunk guy who looks like William Beckett trying to rape me on a bench. Just what I always dreamed off." She rolled her eyes and leant away from him.

"Oh come on! I didn't mean jealous of the Fletch-Man and you know it."

"Fletch-Man…Really?"

"Every girl wants me. It's simple logic."

"Oh yeah, what about all those shoot downs from Tanith?"

"She's infatuated with Ghastly, so I let her off."

"True that. But seriously, you're hitting on me? How do you know I'm not infatuated with someone?"

"Pffft, your only 15 years old. You can hardly be in love with Skulduggery or Ghastly." Fletcher rolled his eyes, leaning back into his previous, egotistical pose.

Valkyrie let out a deep breath and crossed her arms over her chest. "Of course I'm not in love with Skulduggery or Ghastly. Their ancient." she spoke sulkily, ignoring the persistent thought that pulsed in a corner of her mind. "But I'm certainly not at all attracted to you. Especially not with that hair."

Ignoring the hair jibe, Fletcher leant forward again, so close that their noses were nearly touching. "So you won't feel anything if I kiss you? You won't mind at all?" he whispered, trying his best to be seductive but failing epically. Valkyrie held back a burst of giggles, which was very unlike her.

"Hmm…I do feel something…," she whispered back, staring him straight in the eye. She could almost feel his cocky grin. "…Your stupid beard tickling my chin." She smirked and went to slide away, pleased with her teasing as his grin fell.

But Fletcher had other ideas and grabbed the top of Valkyrie's arm, spinning her so he could press his lips furiously to hers.

She tried to protest and stiffened in his arms until he slid his thumb across her jawbone. Then, she relaxed into him and kissed him back, unaware of what she was supposed to do. Her first kiss.

"Valkyrie! I got the pizza. Fletcher killed you with boredom yet?" They quickly disentangled from each other at the sound of the door opening and Tanith's voice. The teenage girl quickly stood and hurried over to where her older friend was waiting, in the doorway, persistently wiping her mouth and brain of any touch of Fletcher.

Yuck.

"Not quite yet, but he was getting there." Valkyrie croaked, grabbing the two boxes of pizza off her and hurrying back to where Fletcher still sat, looking dishevelled. "I'm suing you for rape." she hissed at him but he only glared at her.

"What are you two whispering about?" Tanith asked, with narrowed eyes as she came and sat in between them. They both instantly feigned innocence and gave their half-hearted excuses to do with 'Crazy fan fiction fan base's planning their humiliations' and 'Dancing Crabs in Tupperware'.

Right.

A little while later though, "I'm going to bed." Fletcher announced grandly after they began to tuck into the food and watch a random Rom-Com Gordon has secretly stashed somewhere.

"It's only half 7." Tanith mumbled in disbelief, her mouth pull of tomato and cheese pizza. After wiping the red spit off his much-loved leather army jacket, Fletcher shrugged and hurried up the stairs to where he had claimed his bedroom.

"God, that kid gets weirder every time I see him." Tanith grumbled and pressed pause on the ancient DVD player so could turn to Valkyrie and have a talk. Which was weird to say the least? "Missing Skulduggery?"

Valkyrie shrugged and pondered over the innocent little question. "I guess so. I mean, he's away on Sanctuary business, which is of course to do with stupid old Fletcher and his mum, and I'm not there to help him! I'm here looking after stupid old Fletcher because people are trying to kidnap or kill him or whatever." She took a breath and slumped grumpily in her seat.

"Well, on the Brightside I'm sure you're going to be the one killing Fletcher first." Tanith replied and turned back to the television to play the Rom-Com again.

"Yeah thanks Tanith."

"No problem."

_____

A couple of hours later, around Midnight, a loud noise was issued from upstairs and was followed by a couple of other frightening sounds. Valkyrie jumped and hit Tanith on the upper arm so that she would look away from the television screen.

"What was that?"

"Probably Fletcher tripping over his own ego or something."

"Tanith!"

"What?!"

"This could be serious. I'm going to go and look."

"Yeah you do that."

Valkyrie stood and hurried over to the staircase, turning on the light switch as she went. Just as she was about to embark on the first stair, Fletcher came running down the stairs, screaming like a little girl. The sight of him nearly made Valkyrie die of laughing.

He was wearing a blue onesie and had a small, single curler in his 'beard', with a hairnet covering his hair and a toe-separator in his foot, doing just that. "Someone's trying to kill me! Someone's trying to kill me!" he squawked, speeding over to a desk in the middle of the living room. He crouched and hid beneath it.

"Fletcher? What on earth are you talking about?" Tanith asked, striding over to where he was hiding.

"That Texan guy with the razor and no eyes. He tried to stab me and was asking all these weird questions. He's gone now though." Fletcher whispered, peering at her.

A silence settled between them all as they processed this piece of information. Valkyrie was the first one to speak.

"Fletcher, there's something we need to tell you."

______

**So here is chapter one! Ah, good times… Sanguine pwns everyone and I have revealed Fletcher's beddy time routine. FLETCHERYRIE KISS! WOO! And there shall be some Valduggery soon….Gak…**

**DARK DAYS! WOOO! This story is not a follow up and Dark Days has not occurred (NOOOOOO! :O), Skulduggery did not decompose and there's no Darquesse. Caelan might pop in for a visit though…**

**Anyway, Happy Easter and I'm off to drug Flaring and Shakra's eggs. **

**Signed Faithfully**

**Druna Malgood. **

**(The least loved member of DFS ): )**


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